Texas is lighting money on fire with an underachieving roster. That includes quarterback Arch Manning.
Nico Iamaleava delivered a masterpiece in UCLA’s upset of Penn State. Will he transfer to a better team after the season?
Most of us peasants will never know what it’s like to light tens of millions of dollars on fire, but if you choose to live vicariously, watch Texas.
The Longhorns are torching money, as they squander one of the nation’s most-expensive rosters.
Texas has revealed itself to be the biggest fraud in the land, which is saying something, because this is a land that also includes Penn State.
For Texas, the problems start at quarterback. They don’t end there, but they start there.
If Arch Manning had any other surname stitched to the back of his jersey, we’d say he belonged at Rice more than he belongs at Texas. Manning threw two interceptions in this latest loss, a 29-21 takedown by Florida, and he’s fortunate it wasn’t four interceptions.
“Don’t question his heart at all,” Texas coach Steve Sarkisian said.
Question his arm. Question his mechanics.
When Manning throws a deep shot and we call it a wounded duck, that’s offensive to wounded ducks. He’s a good runner. He’s a fitful passer, as shown again with a 16-of-29 stat line against Florida.
One of Texas’ best completions against Florida came when backup Matthew Caldwell zipped a 26-yard connection in the fourth quarter.
This doesn’t need to be a quarterback controversy. It needs to be a quarterback swap. Caldwell, a former starter at Troy, offers an experienced hand. Maybe, he could salvage something of this season.
Once the offseason arrives, Sarkisian needs to go quarterback shopping. With any luck, the transfer portal will include UCLA’s Nico Iamaleava. If you’re laughing, you didn’t see what Iamaleava did to Penn State. He delivered a masterpiece in a 42-37 upset. Go watch Iamaleava’s 43-yard deep strike to Kwazi Gilmer. He pinpointed the throw. Tell me Manning could make that toss.
When Iamaleava took off on daring runs against Penn State, juking and stiff-arming and spinning, he looked like a lithe Vince Young.
“I’m glad he’s on my team,” UCLA interim coach Tim Skipper said after Iamaleava rushed for 128 yards and three touchdowns and passed for 166 yards and two more scores.
Iamaleava’s got two seasons of eligibility remaining, and his talents are being wasted at UCLA. Texas could afford Iamaleava’s price tag, and the Longhorns need a quarterback. That much should be obvious.
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In the meantime, the Longhorns lack an offensive identity. They mounted no run game against a Florida team that played like it must want embattled coach Billy Napier to receive a contract extension instead of a pink slip. Texas’ best wide receiver is Parker Livingstone. A former three-star recruit, he’s one of the few Texas players over-performing his billing.
Texas’ defense looked helpless to stop a Gators offense that suddenly turned explosive after a feeble September.
“We just didn’t play great,” Sarkisian said.
The final margin could have been worse, too. Twice in the second half, the Gators led by two touchdowns before the Longhorns countered.
“Most people thought we were probably dead and gone, and we fought all the way back,” Sarkisian said.
That’s what the season has come to for Texas. The Longhorns are fighting to make losses more respectable, left treading water until the transfer portal opens this winter.
Then, Texas must go shopping. There’s a quarterback out in California who’s already taken one SEC team to the College Football Playoff, a destination that looks so, so far away for the Longhorns while Manning tosses interceptions, overthrows and wobblers.
Until the Longhorns get a cure to what ails them, they’re just lighting money on fire.
This story was updated to change a video.
Blake Toppmeyer is the USA TODAY Network’s senior national college football columnist. Email him at BToppmeyer@gannett.com and follow him on X @btoppmeyer.